[Adult] What are you dressed as?
[Nine year old] I’m Silvia, from “Two Gentlemen of Verona.”

I don’t understand the teenagers who cruise around at 8pm, after the younger kids have depleted the candy stores. Though I display the universal signs of “go away” (lights out, shades drawn), they still ring the doorbell. “I’m out of candy. Want some frozen trout? Or, we can pretend I’m not looking and you can do something unspeakable to that carved pumpkin.”

Their costumes are pedestrian: girls wearing their boyfriend’s football jersey, boys with hockey masks (oh, that’s original!). Nothing as interesting as Mitch sees, though.