Jim Carson

Welcome back from day one of my office tour to the second day of the office tour. We hope you had a good night's sleep.

Jeux sans frontieres

(Okay, so I got the name wrong...)

Our offline communications center serves as a backup in the event of a power outage or the weekly Microsoft Outlook worm. This wholly analog facility has a non-permanent, multi-color passive display with a 4:3 (48"x36") aspect ratio. Next year we'll upgrade to the newer, flatter 16:9 aspect ratio.

Important memos and documents get one last hurrah.

The recycling center can process a variety of media formats: 8 ¹/₂ x 11, legal, A4, cardboard, and Post-It notes, to name a few. I'm not sure how it works -- I just put paper in it. And by the next morning, it's gone. The best part is the recycling center is itself recyclable. Talk about recursion! I have not personally seen a recycling center being recycled, but it must be a spectacular sight.

What's that smell? Why it's Tide-Fresh clean clothes!

Adjacent to Corporate Recycling is the Junior Executive open-air Locker Room. There are no showers, toilets, shampoos or benches. Or lockers. There are two shelves on which one can store excess clean clothing for the next bike ride into work. (Typically there will be: a sweatshirt and a sweater to cope with the wild temperature fluctuations, pants, shorts, three shirts, two pairs of socks, underwear and a spare pair of bike shorts. Somewhere there's a toiletry kit with Hotel Soaps of Three Continents, but with this much space, it gets lost.)

Can you see the four power strips in this photo?

The thirst for power may be evident, though we strive to use it for benevolent purposes. It's unfortunate that the office engineers provided only two outlets. They clearly did not anticipate the need for three computers, a Clie, a phone charger, a battery charger, etc. When we get the flux capacitor in the trans dimensional generator cranked up to 50% of its rated power, the lights on the floor begin to flicker. At 75%, it's time to shut off the Windows boxes... This has crimped our plans to bring in an electric guitar and relive Bill and Ted's execellent adventure.

Get me the President, pronto!

Our final stop today is a teaser for tomorrow: a snippet of our communications center. With the proper access codes, one can reach any location on the planet. Its built-in speaker is a boon to working while people on the conference call are playing the game "who's here?" One feature I'd like to see removed is the distance modulation deamplifier. In layman's terms, this feature tells you how close, geographically speaking, the participant is, by the volume of their voice. Someone on your floor would be excessively loud, a player on a different floor would be at an acceptable volume, and a participant in another building is nearly inaudible. I'm sure this is highly useful for someone.

Tomorrow, we'll explore the North Wing, where all the serious (and some not so serious) work gets done.

Continue to day 3