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Dimensional Warp Generator Needed

Received a really weird spam a few weeks ago titled "Dimensional Warp Generator Needed.". So have a lot of other people. Some humorous investigation (by others) follows, with the finale at Reflective Reality.
This is the original email:
Hello,

I'm a time traveler stuck here in 2003. Since nobody here seems to be able to get me what I need (safely here to me), I will have to build a simple time travel circut to get where I need myself. I am going to need an easy to follow picture diagram for a simple time travel circut, which can be built out of (readily available) parts here in 2003. Please email me any schematics you have. I will pay good money for anything you send me I can use Or if you have the rechargeable AMD dimensional warp generator wrist watch unit available, and are 100% certain you have a (secure) means of delivering it to me please also reply. Send a separate email to me at: info@federalfundingprogram.com.

Do not reply back directly to this email as it will only be bounced back to you.
Thank You
[more tracking codes deleted]
The traveller has various names, clearly trying to spam icognito. (Yeah, right). Some highly entertaining related hreads:
Sean at Inert Ramblings tried to spy on a dropoff near his temporal homestead coordinates.

It occurred to me that if this guy were to have an unfortunate accident with the lads from Lagos, we'd be in deep doo-doo. ("HELLO, I AM , A NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION OFFICIAL IN NEED OF A TRANSDIMENSIONAL WARP GENERATOR TO CLAIM THE 43 MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS LEFT BY THE HEIR OF MY FUTURE GRANDDAUGHTER...") But why stop there, why not combine time travel with compound investing?

This was rather humorous:

About.com notes the previous adventures of John Titor

The Time Traveler might be S.O.L. because you can't even find a decent Dimensional Warp Generator on ebay. (Previous auctions are archived here and here.) A wonderful dissection is available miscellaneousetc.com.

[9/3/03 -- article in Wired names the spammer.]
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11 Comments:
Sean wrote on (July 29, 2003 5:37 PM) Reply to comment:

It gets even weirder...there was allegedly a teleportation dropoff on Monday!

http://www.inertramblings.com/archives/000247.html

Maximum Paranoia wrote on (July 30, 2003 11:02 PM) Reply to comment:

The location of this week's "drop" shown on a map:
http://www.childsupportanalysis.co.uk/guest_contributions/dwg_strill.htm

Brian Appel wrote on (August 22, 2003 7:30 AM) Reply to comment:

Hello,

I am going to need a new DWG unit, prefereably the rechargeable AMD wrist watch model with the GRC79 induction motor, four I80200 warp stabilizers, 512GB of SRAM and the menu driven GUI with front panel XID display. I'm a time traveler stuck here in 2003. Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me. I will take whatever model you have in stock, as long as its received certification for being safe on carbon based life forms.

In terms of payment: Payment can be made in Galactic Credits, Platinum gold, or 2003 currency upon safe delivery of unit.

INSTRUCTIONS MUST BE FOLLOWED EXACTLY:
Please transport unit in either a brown paper bag or box to below coordinates on Friday August 22nd at (exactly 4:00pm) Eastern Standard Time. A fewminutes prior will be ok, but it cannot be after. If you miss this timeframe please email me. Nobody will be at those coordinates prior to 3:45pm EST, (so do not transport before then).

Item is to be delivered at beginning of Lagrange Street in Winchester, Massachusetts which is directly across the street from Stratford Road locatedat: Latitude N 42.44852 & Longitude W 071.14651 and the Elevation is 90 feet.

WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TRANSPORT ITEM BY REGULAR MEANS OF TELEPORTATION. THEY ARE MONITORING AND WILL REDIRECT THE SIGNAL!! I DO NOT CARE HOW YOU HAVE TO GET IT HERE, JUST DO IT IN A WAY THAT NO SPYING EYES WILL POSSIBLY BE ABLE TO REDIRECT OR BLOCK THE TRANSFERENCE. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU BE ABLE TO MONITOR THE TRANSFER. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SEND IT SO THAT THEY CANNOT REDIRECT OR BLOCK IT??? If in doubt do not transport actual unit until your method of transfer can be confirmed as a success. You just might need to send a intergalactic courier to deliver item safely to me.
It is best if you send a intergalactic courier to deliver, this way you can be certain the unit arrives ok, However If you are certain that you havethe means to teleport unit in a safe manner please send a (separate) email to me at: webmaster@federalfundingprogram.com only after unit has been safely delivered with payment instructions.

Thanks
Brian Appel


Do not reply directly back to this email as it will only be bounced back to you.

useridchallenged wrote on (August 23, 2003 2:52 PM) Reply to comment:

A quick "whois" on www.federalfundingprogram.com gives a possible identity to our time traveler:

Administrative Contact-
NR Data Corp
Bill Jones (alienman32@anonymous.to)
+1.16179014129
FAX- +1.7819328769
4 oak street
woburn, MA 01801
US

timetraveler wrote on (August 23, 2003 3:35 PM) Reply to comment:

Whois records are notoriously unreliable, much like the GRC78 induction motor -- can you believe the damned thing only had four recalls?

Red Jacket wrote on (August 24, 2003 9:21 AM) Reply to comment:

I am very appreciative of these e-mails. This dude has a sense of humor.
Wonder if he is a published SF author?
Keep it up.

Red Jacket wrote on (August 24, 2003 9:35 AM) Reply to comment:

Follow up:
The return on the latest e-mail today was www.arcor.de
The e-mail address was custompaintshop.net
This provided a search engine that led me here.
Perhaps he speaks German and is using a German server as his mail server.
Just one more clue

Tim Horton wrote on (September 2, 2003 6:40 AM) Reply to comment:

I received this time-traveller junk e-mail to our corporate "sales@..." e-mail address. Before I reproduce the e-mail below (including relavent parts of the header) the message either came directly from [...] or came through that computer from 19.20.246.215. However, it probably did not come from 19.20.246.215 since the header claims that address belongs to (6gfj.bjlk.net) while arin who-is says that Ford Motor Company ownes that IP. Traceroute fails very early in the path to 19.20.246.215.

So I assume the e-mail came from [...]. Ping worked to that computer, and so did nbtstat:

Name type
SISTEMAS Unique
FXPARTS Group
SISTEMAS Unique

That computer has some open shares that I was able to connect to:

CD
instalables
usuarios

Directory listing of Instalables:

08-05-03 2:10p .
08-05-03 2:10p ..
08-13-03 4:36p Norton 2002
08-28-03 2:15p HP 1200
09-01-03 9:33a Internet Explorer 6 espa¤ol
08-05-03 2:11p AdminPaq
08-05-03 2:11p Internet Explorer 6
08-05-03 2:11p Office 2000
08-05-03 2:39p No Break Software
08-05-03 2:39p HelpDesk
08-05-03 2:39p Informaci˘n del HW
08-05-03 2:39p HP DeskJet 670c
08-05-03 2:39p VB5
08-05-03 2:42p Respladadores
08-05-03 2:42p RAdmin
4,083,520 04-16-03 1:51p SETUP9X.EXE
2,434,968 04-28-03 6:01p getrt500.exe
9,501,480 05-08-03 6:36p AcroReader51_ESP.exe
2,106,712 06-27-03 5:34p vbsp3.exe

4 file(s) 18,126,680 bytes
15 dir(s) 3,216.00 MB free

The directory "usuarios" (Users?) has this:

08-20-03 10:40a .
08-20-03 10:40a ..
[names deleted on request]
9 file(s) 20,528 bytes
2 dir(s) 9,318.00 MB free

So I have no clue who owns that computer or why it has those open shares and why it (apparently?) originated the time-traveller e-mail. I haven't checked to see if it's just an e-mail relay (I'll leave that to others).

But in the mean-time, have fun with it. Try this:

Start
Find
Computer
[...]

then browse at will.

D28_2012 wrote on (March 21, 2004 8:05 AM) Reply to comment:

Hey If your interested in John Titor you might want to join my yahoo group: -

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/John_Titor_UK/

theres loads of links and pictures for you to check out and a message board.

Luis Conde wrote on (November 9, 2005 7:25 AM) Reply to comment:

Can you delete the information about my computer [...]), names and related stuff ?

In 2003 We were using a proxy called freeproxy/freeweb, but we detected it opens some ports, so we decided to stop using it.

Part of this information is very important for us, so please erase it from this page.

← First name's fine; we're very informal here.
← Please leave it blank if you don't have a blog.
← This will not be visible to the public.
Remember this stuff?

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